Math's teachers across the nation rejoice, Derren Brown has found a use for mathematics that people can get behind! Yes for those of you who haven't been paying attention to the mass media over the past few days, Wednesday night Derren Brown (and company) successfully predicted the national lottery numbers with mathematics.

And I can guarentee that come Monday morning Maths teachers up and down the country will be inundated by various questions reguarding the finer details of how he pulled it off. Of course if I was a maths teacher I would take this oppourtunity to preform an "experiment" to demonstrate the process, whilst secretly making plans to retire to Haiwaii!

So how did he do it? Well for the benefit of people who didn't see or didn't undertand I will explain my interpretation of the "trick", and see just how much of GCSE maths I remember... which should make this interesting since that was 7/8 years ago.

The basic premise comes from the story of a county fair in 1904 an a competition to guess the weight of an Ox. Now after the completion of the contest some clever clogs decided to find out what the average guess was, so he added all the guesses up and divided them by the number of guesses made (800 I believe). After doing that he found that the mean average was infact the exact weight of the Ox.

Using this principle good old Derren gathered together 24 people to try a similar process. Now at this point I'd like to ask the world at large, why 24? It just seems like such a random number? Theories on a postcard. Anyway after getting them to look at results dating back a year he had them write down what they thought the result would be and worked out the average. It was here that I lost my way with the theory simply beacuase it wasn't explained very well, at least to me. It wasn't till a little later when I saw how they were doing it that I understood what was happening. So lets see an example;

Say we had five people doing it (simply because I can't be arsed to think of 24 predictions) and they hypothesised that the lotto numbers would be:

1) 28, 17, 34, 12, 8, 3
2) 36, 19, 22, 4, 27, 11
3) 25, 29, 7, 12, 34, 1
4) 18, 9, 36, 9, 28, 30
5) 10, 20, 35, 17, 24, 7

We would take their predictions for the first number; 28, 36, 25, 18 and 10, and work out the average guess, which is 19.5 (feel free to check my maths). It would be interesting to note here what they did when the result of the average wasn't a full number; in the example I've given we've got nineteen and a half, surely they came across similar issues, so did they round up or down?

Anyway, ignoring that issue for the time being you would repeat the process till you came up with your six numbers. And after a few attempts Derren and his team hit the jackpot.

But of course there is the idea that the whole thing was a fix. Well for starters this is Derren Brown, not Danny Ocean. And if there was even the slightest inclining that the draw was rigged I doubt the lotto company (is it still Camelot?) would let the draw go ahead since if this were the case not only would Derren be headed to Wormword Scrubs but the company would be ruined, due to more legal problems than you could shake a stick at. Honestly I could be here all day listing the various cases that would come out over this and while I may not have anything better to do I really don't want to. If people are that bothered they can ask me.

So there you go, that is how to win the lottey... allegedly

So Oasis are no more... well quite frankly I really couldn't care less. Harsh I know but it's true. Admittedly there are a few of there songs I've liked in passing but they've never compelled me enough to go out and buy an album.

So yes, musically I couldn't give a rat's ass about the end of the Brit Pop giants. End of the day knowing most bands give it five years and they'll do a reunion tour and headline Glastonbury.

But legally this story has sparked my interest, remember I do hold a law degree (not that you'd know it in the current economic and political climate). Anyway back on topic the band were in the midst of a world tour and were scheduled to play shows in Paris, Konstanz and Milan. Obviously people who'd bought tickets to the show will get refunds but what about the venues, the promoters, the bookers and all the other people behind the scenes who make gigs possible? Thanks to the "brotherly love" (or lack there of) between the Gallagher boys they will find themselves quite significantly out of pocket.

And not just from ticket sales. Think about the last gig you attended; I bet you had food/drink venders, merchadise salespeople, programme sellers and all other manner of people trying to make a quick buck. You put all that together and you've got yourself a hansome profit, which has now gone down the toilet.

So what to do, what to do? Schedule another band to take their place and hope that they pull in as much cash? Well however much I hate to say it with Oasis being one of the biggest bands on the planet there aren't that many acts who could provide the same draw. Of course you could sue for breach of contract...

You may think I'm joking but the fact is music is an industry, and like any industry it relys on money to function and considering the amount of money that people will loose over this its a reasonable option. And it wouldn't be the first time that it's happened. On multiple occasions theatre owners have successfully sued preformed artists for last minute cancellations.

Of course this does raise the issue of Michael Jackson and the cancelation of his shows at the O2... well that's a entirely different story. I think it goes without saying that his death made it impossible for him to do the shows... unless of course you wanted to roll out a corpse for 50 odd shows. That being said I bet that there are certain people who would pay to see that. And as bizarre as it may seem Oasis could still play the shows that they're contractually obliged to play.

But Oasis? Playing without Noel Gallagher? That's just insanity! Yeah well I said the same thing about Guns N Roses and Slash and it hasn't stopped Axl Rose carrying on. Honestly how many bands have carried on without key members due to fallings out, births, marriages and deaths?

Ozzy was thrown out of Sabbath, Freddie Mercury passed away and John Deacon retired, half of Guns N Roses walked out and don't get me started on the various line up changes that Iron Maiden have gone through, christ even Banarama have changed their membership twice. Hell I could be here all day listing various bands who've lost members for whatever reason and still continued.

It all depends on licences; who own's Oasis and their back catalogue? If now that Noel is going he can take the name and most of the songs with him then it probably is the end since I really can't see Liam agreeing to pay his brother royalties in order to continue the band when he could just as easily start afresh.

That being said, I give it five or six years before they're back together doing a reunion tour

What can I say about last night's Carling Cup match between West Ham and Millwall?

Well I could say alot of things, none of which sadly have anything to do with the actual game.

Now I'm not going to lie and say that I followed the story intently right from the get go because quite frankly I didn't. With MK Dons being knocked out in the previous round and Spurs playing their tie against Doncaster tonight I didn't particularly care about the games being played so went about my usual routine of watching random stuff and flicking over to Sky Sports News whenever I came across an ad break. And everytime I had score check it was the same thing; Phil Thomson talking about what was going on at Upton Park, unfortunately he wasn't talking about the action on the pitch.

Frankly I wasn't surprised since Millwall have somewhat of a reputation, but it wasn't till the end of the game when I saw the footage of what had happened both inside and outside of the ground that the full nature of what had taken place. And in all honesty it was frightening. Now I don't mean frightening in the sense of diving behind the sofa, but frightening in the sense that as a footballing nation we had moved beyond this sort of thing.

Admittedly I'm not old enough to remember the hayday of football hooliganism and violence and from the little that I do remember I wasn't really old enough to understand what was happening. That and I didn't really give a rat's ass about football until I was in my teens. But believe me when I say that when you start doing crowd control at a club they drill into you just how bad it used to be and how bad it can get. And last night was a real throwback to the days of organized sports violence.

But why? Now I'm not going to pretend that the past 15 or so years have been perfect but it has been a long time since we've seen behaviour on this scale at a football game. A quote taken from an online Millwall fan forum states that "The Met made their own bed by not giving us tickets, and now their trying toblame the fans." So we're to believe that you hopped on the tube to start a fight because you didn't get tickets? Fuck off! Fuck right off is all I can say to that! The simple fact is that the number of tickets distributed was down to the fact that the cops were worried about this sort of thing happening and why is that, because you've got a rep for starting trouble. Some might say that the repuation is deserved, that is just a negative stereotype well guess what lads you did a bang up job of putting those rumours to bed!

Of course there are two sides to every story and West Ham had there fair share of jackasses in attendance and they made their presence known with a few ptich invasions. Now I've never fully understood the whole point of wanting to get on the pitch. I mean apart from the whole attention seeking bollocks. Honestly though what is the attraction of making a twat of yourselve just for a few minutes of fleeting fame? I can understand the need people may have to want to celebrate with their teams in big games, but in the second round of the League Cup? Come off it!

But of course these people don't think about the greater reprecussions. We are living in a world of CCTV and High Defintion so getting away with this sort of thing isn't as easy as it once was. And then when your caught there's the case of lifetime bans. Honesty all these people who claim to be "real fans" how would you feel about never being let into another football game for the rest of your life?

And beyond that what's the impact on the club? If it was deemed that the club was unable to control it's fans we could have a situation with certain games being played behing closed doors and no-one wants that.

I hope to god that this turns out to be an isolated incident which'll have no repetion 'cos if this does mean a return to the old days guess who's going to be on the front line!

Top 4:

1) Man Utd
2) Liverpool
3) Chelsea
4) Arsenal

People think that the losses of Tevez and Ronaldo will make Utd vunerable but Ferguson has always built a solid team which never relies on any individuals to get the win. As for Liverpool and Chelsea; well when it comes to the league I simply feel Liverpool want it more, Ancelotti will be more focused on European success. Now fourth spot was an exceptionally difficult discion to make as Arsenal seem to losing all their better players without really replacing them, but they still have Fabregas, Van Persie, Walcott and Arshavin who will all do well. As for the chasing pack; while Man City have made huge strides in the transfer market to improve their squad they've look very ordinary in pre-season and as with all teams it'll take time to gel and in that time they may miss out. Aston Villa did very well last year but have had a huge loss in the form of Gareth Barry which may hinder their progress. Spurs and Everton will also make a good push for the top four but may run out of steam.

The Drop:

Wolves
Wigan
Hull

When it comes to "second season syndrom" none of last year's promoted teams look more likely to suffer from it than Hull. Considering their form at the tale end of last year they were lucky to survive and unless they hit the ground running this year they will drop. Next Wolves; I watched them play MK Dons a little over a week ago in preseason and DEAR LORD they were bad! Not punishing weakness's in the defence, dropping off the pace, honestly unless MacCarthy can sort them out they'll go. Finally Wigan; now every year there is a period of at least two weeks when I forget Wigan are even in the Premiership! Now that they've lost Steve Bruce I feel that they'll falter. Also expect Pompey to struggle in the early goings but some good moves in January should save the day.

The Chop:

Mark Hughes has spent an extortionate amount of money at City and the owners will be expecting results FAST, while Hughes is a talented manager he's going to be dealing with a lot of conflicting personalities and may lose the dressing room causing the team to suffer. Unless he's sitting pretty by Christmas he may go. Similarly there is alot of talk in the press about Phil Brown losing his dressing room after some very public fallings out last season and if Hull struggle like I think they will he may be walking too.

Player(s) to watch out for:

First off Torres, hands down he is one of, if not the best striker in the world... beware. Next Owen; people who've heard me speak of him when he's in an England shirt will be surprised at this since it is no secret that I think he's too injury prone. But Man Utd currently have an abundance of striking talent meaning there won't be the same reliance on him as a forward. It will be good for him to be part of a rotating squad and it should keep him fit. Now however much it pains me to promote anything to do with Arsenal; Arshavin is sure to impress this year, last season he showed signs of that magic touch all great strikers need but didn't have the time to really settle in. With Adebeyor gone he will have the oppourtunity to show what he's really made of.

The Cups:

F.A - Liverpool
League - Blackburn

If you've been paying attention you'l realise this is the same call I made last year, but the fact is if Liverpool want it they have more than enough quality to take the F.A cup. As for the League Cup, it won't be pretty but Big Sam has just the style it takes to power through.

Europe:

Chelsea, Liverpool and Utd will all have strong showing in the Champions League and should make it to the latter stages but none have what it take to dethrone Barcelona. The fact is the vast majority of the cup winning squad is intact and if you through Ibrahimavic in the mix they look unbeatable. As for the new Galacticos over in Madrid I feel they'll suffer from the same problem as Man City, too many personalities to juggle and problems gelling together.

The Lower Leagues:

In the Championship I'm looking for Boro to make do well and bounce back. As for Newcastle, well they haven't made any progress since being relegated and if the don't look as if they're coming back up by Christmas the members of the team who stayed will look for the door. They'll make it to the play-offs if they're lucky but that's about it. Ipswich and Sheff Utd will also do well. As for who's going down... Scunthorpe were lucky to go (and no, I'm not just saying that because they beat the Dons in the play-offs) as for that I have no idea.

In League One look for a strong showing from Charlton. Leeds, Norwich and the MK Dons will make the chase for 2nd spot tight, and however much I'd like to see the Dons get it I think it'll fall to Leeds. Southampton will be battling for the top too but the 10 point deduction will hamper them forcing them to settle for the play-offs.

So today we lost another great... Bobby Robson you will be missed by the world of sport and the world at large.

But still through out all the news I heard today I couldn't help wondering something. Now maybe it's just my own twisted take on the world but I kept thinking what would happen if a famous person died and rather than everyone saying how great they were someone came out with "I hated that c*nt and I'm glad to be rid of the f*cker!"

Honestly this year we have lost a number of famous people; Dom Deluise, Michael Jackson, Majel Barret, Farrah Fawcett ect. And each time one of two things happen; it's completely ignored by the mass media or there is a public outcry of grief and sadness.

Don't get me wrong, I fully support the notion of not speaking ill of the dead but I find it highly difficult to believe that not a single person can find a bad word to say when a celebrity dies. Now admittedly a decent proportion of the public must like a person in order for them to become famous in the first place but somewhere along the line they have to have pissed someone off.

For example, Bruce Forsyth. Now when Bruce eventually passes away I'm sure there will be a huge public responce, however my late Grandfather (RIP) absolutely hated him. The story goes back decades when he was doing parking control in Eton and he told Bruce that he couldn't park in a certain place. In responce to this he got indignant and through his fame in my Grandfather's face. Now I don't know how this story ends apart from the fact that since then my Grandfather despised Bruce Forsyth.

Now this is probably an isolated incident but it does make you wonder what'll happen when a famous person who is disliked by a large proportion of the public dies; Margret Thatcher immediately springs to mind. Honestly throughout her tenure as Prime Minister she truely polorised the public so when she does eventualy die I'm wondering what the media responce will be? As niave as this'll sound will it be a balanced view with views from people who both liked and disliked her or will or the skeletons be locked away and we'll be left with whatever positives she may have left behind?

Just something for people to consider

So Steven Gerrard is innocent in yet another high point for the Brittish justice system... what a load of tripe.

This ladies is yet another example of the power that the cult of the celebrity has over the world. Honestly, in my opinion if he wasn't a famous footballer Steven Gerrard would currently be enjoying all the benifits of having a criminal record. Don't believe me? Well let's look at the facts...

All of his friends/accociates involved in the incident pleaded guilty (probably due to the advise of their representation). And there are only two reasons for doing that 1) you are guilty, 2) if you are innocent, there is little to no chance of you getting off. So what is so different about Gerrard? Well he's a public figure with a shed load of cash and before anyone starts, I am in no way suggesting that he paid off the court with that last statement. But more money can (allegedly) buy you better representation.

So what strategy did Mr. Gerrard's high price defence team use? Why he was acting in self-defence of course. Admittedly self-defence is a good reason but in order to successfully argue it the actions taken by the defendant need to be a reasonable and proportionate responce to a genuine threat. Well lets review; Gerrard is an athelete in his 20's, who was surounded by friends and acted in the manner of "a professional boxer" against a business man in his mid 30's. He claims that he did not see one of his friends elbow the victim prior to his own actions. But even if this is the case I've seen the CCTV footage and the series of blows Gerrard used were no were near reasonable or proportionate.

But no, according to a jury of his "peers", his actions were perfectly fine. Yeah right, I challenge any person reading this to do exactly the same thing and instruct their defence to use the Gerrard case as precedent. And do you know what'll happen? I bet you it'll get overturn. I'm just glad that this has happened at such a low level of the judicial system.

What all the other footballers who've been accused of various crimes? Lee Bowyer, Jonathon Woodgate, Jermaine Pennant, Joey Barton? They have all had brushes with the law and have had, shall we say 'mixed success'. Well with all due respect to them Gerrard is on a different level professionaly speaking. He's the captain of his club, regarded as one best footballers in the world and has represented his county on multiple occasions.

If I was Mr McGee I'd take the case to the civil courts because I think the result will be very differnent.

Those of you paying attention will be aware of my little adventure in the rain on Monday and the fact that after my saturation my Nokia 5300 started playing up.

After a day of doing everything I could think of to get it up and running again I resigned myself to the fact that I'd have to replace it and transfered the sim card into my old Nokia 3210 so at I'd at least have a phone. Now within a few hours of this I remembered why I'd replaced it in the first place; I've had this phone since I was 14 (that would be the year 2000 for anyone keeping score) making it a good 9 years old, and in 9 years the battery has been losing its charge making it less mobile than I'd like. In fact it needs recharging almost constantly if I want to use it. Still I had a plan to visit an orange shop and get them to take a look at my 5300 and if neccessary replace it and until then the old 3210 would do.

Now for whatever reason this morning I decided to switch my sim back over, I'd say why but I really don't know but that's besides the point. That was a good two hours ago and my phone appears to working just fine. Seemingly whatever problem it had has sorted itself out.

But this leaves me with a decision. Do I take this blip as a sign that I do need a new phone and trade in my 5300 while its working? Or do I hedge my bets and keep using the 5300 until it really does die a death?

Thoughts?

"It never rains, but it pours". Never before has a simple phrase been so appropriate to describe a single day.

I got up this morning to the gentle sounds of rain... awww how poetic. To be honest it was somewhat of a relief considering the ungodly heat that we've been experiance the past few weeks, but it was somewhat annoying since I had to visit the bank. No problems or anything serious it's just I needed to deposit so cash into my account, which is always a plus. Normally I'd put such a thing off, but the way I see it the sooner the money goes in the sooner it starts earning me interest.

Luckily the rain eased off and it looked as if it was going to be a fairly decent day, so off I went. About three quarters of the way there the sky opened and it began to lightly rain. No probs I thought, end of the day I kind of like walking in the rain, but as I got closer to my destination it got heavier and heavier.

Then when I left the bank things took a turn for the worse as a clap of thunder echoed across the sky and it absolutely hammered it down. So there I was a good half hour walk from home, no coat, no hat and a thunder storm of biblical preportions. With no choice I hot footed it home.

Finally a soaked Ash made it home to deal with a very tempromental front door lock. You see for the past six months or so the lock decides only to work when it feels like it, and unfortunatley today was not one of those times. Meaning I had to hop a couple of fences and go through the back.

After that chore I eventually got in only for five minutes later to hear my dad come in. Now my dad works just a short walk away from the bank so if I new he'd be coming home early I could have got a lift home and avoid the apocalyptic weather!

And as if that wasn't bad enough half an hour later my phone started to play up, flicking through it's menus at random and being completely unresponsive. I turned it off and on; no change. Took it apart and gave to insides a clean; same result. I called up my provider, explained the situation only to be told there's nothing they can do, I've had it for two years and so the warrenty has expired.

So to review, there I was dripping wet with a broken phone... and to top it all off the sun is now shining and the sky is blue.

F*cks Sake!

There are moments in time, moments which transend history and stand out from all others; The Moon Landing, the Kennedy Assasination, the fall of the Berlin Wall, Princess Diana's death, ect. And last night we had another with the death of Michael Jackson.

Unsurprisingly the media has been dominated by this news all day. Infact I have not heard a single news story since half ten last night that hasn't been in some way related to it. Which is somewhat frustrating since it's getting boring watching the same one hour cycle repeated over and over again. But at the same time it's refreshing to see the media going to town on a story revolving around a true talent as opposed to yet another reality tv "star" who has made less of an impact on the world than a baked potato.

Admittedly there was a number of contraversies over the years but again quite refreshingly people are forgetting/ignoring this and focusing on the music, which in my opinion is the most important thing since I can think of a number of similar situations where people focus on the dark side and forget all the good memories that a person has provided.

As I've alreadyy mentioned I've spent most of the day watching the news (flicking between it, Wimbledon and now Glastonbury) and one factor which struck me was the footage of MJ fans who'd gathered outside the hospital last night. Seeing the raw emotion pouring form these people filled me with two emotions; firstly pity. I really did pity those people who had put so much stock into this one individual (whom most of them had never met) they couldn't possibly imagine a world without them. And secondly jealousy. Yeah you read that right, I was genuinely jealous of these people for the exact same reason that I pitied them. Simply because I cannot think of a time in my life when I got that emotional over the loss of a person. And I'm not talking about celebrities, I mean people in my every day life, and when I consider some of the people that I have lost over the years that is truely sad.

But enough about me and my lack of emotional responce. Michael Jackson was truely a great musician and preformer. I realise that my saying that will surprise many of you who know me and my stance on music; I know what I like and god help you if you don't fall into that catagory! But I can recognise talent when I see it and that guy had truck loads of it. He transcended genres like no other artist, just consider the difference between his disco-esque work with the Jackson 5, the rockier efforts like "Dirty Diana" and "Give in to Me" (feat. Slash!), the ballads like "Heal the World", and the various pop work. I don't think that there has been (or will be another artist) with the same sort of range and talent exhibited by the late Mr Jackson. He was truely one of a kind.

But once again this is a sign of the problems that can arise with the cult of the Celebrity. Fame and fortune can provide you with many things but they cannot erase the problems that exist and Michael Jackson was a true victim of the cult. Unlike many celebrities who pass away (Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Elvis Presley) Jackson did not seek his fame. At least not actively. If you follow the story he was pushed into it by his father who was a right taskmaster when it came to establishing his family as a power in the music industry and deprived him of a childhood. Which may have been a huge factor in the way he lived his later life. But enough of this sort of thing, despite everything that may or may not have happened the world has lost one of musical greats.

God bless sir and rest in peace. You will be missed.

So after 2 years the long awaited sequal to the live action Transformers Movie has hit cinemas and yesterday I went to see it... And I loved it!

*SPOILER ALERT*

The action sequences were awsome, the humour was top notch and the totty was off the scale. Highlights included John Turroto as the former Agent Simmons and Jetfire the aging autobot. I was also pleasantly surprised by the portrail of Wheelie. Now in the orginal G1 version I was not a fan of him, he really annoyed me with his constant rhyming but this new version sat alot better with me. It was also good to see the Decepticons acting as more of a unit as opposed to the first one where they seemed to be more of a group of individuals acting independantly.

Although I did have my issues. Firstly it annoyed the hell out of me that whilst they managed to ressurect so many bots from the first film my favourite character Jazz remained deceasesed. Next the portrail of Megatron as a sabordinante to the fallen didn't sit well with me... end of the day the Megatron I grew up with took orders from no-one! And finally, as you may have gathered there are a lot of new bots in this movie and other than Jetfire, the twins; Skids and Mudflap and Wheelie they aren't properly introduced or developed.

For example at the end of the film Optimus combines sparks with Jetfire. To aid this process Jolt uses electrical cables to power it. Now at this point my thoughts were "huh? Where did he come from?" He only really made an appearance for that one part of the movie. Also with the opening sequence and the battle in Shanghai whilst it was jaw dropping it was a blink and you'll miss it situation for two of the new Decepticons; Demolisher and Swideways. And with the final sequence 13 new Decepticons attacked the heroes, and I didn't have a clue who most of them were. Back to the Autobots it seemed odd to me that after all the fuss that was made to get Arcee into the film they didn't really do anything with the character and finally I would have liked to seen more of Swideswipe since he looked pretty cool with his twin blades.

Despite all this I really, really enjoyed it and am already looking forward to the third installment, even if I am somewhat apprehensive as to where they're going to take it. Since the series began there has been monumental fan pressure to introduce the Dinobots and now that this new film has established that there have been Transformers of Earth for millenia it's not too much of a stretch to imagine a group of Autobots who been here since prehistoric times and took their forms from Dinosaurs.

There has also been talk of bringing in Tidal Wave who's alternative form in an aircraft carrier, and after seeing Devastator in all his glory it's again not too hard to see. But I also have the bad feeling that they may introduce Headmasters... and I really don't think that'd work. And of course with any Transformers franchise there is always the option to introduce Unicron which would be interesting to see (although after the way Galactus was ballsed up in Rise of the Silver Surfer I'm a little apprehensive). Personally I wouldn't mind seeing Cybertron introduced properly just because it could open up a lot more possibilities.